A Lost Identity

                I’ve never really paid much attention to identity. In jr. high and high school it wasn’t really an issue for me. I’ve watched movies and read books based on the main character’s journey to figuring out who they are, but I never had that question directed towards myself. Honestly, I guess I defined myself by what I did in high school. I was involved in tons of stuff, and that became who I was. That shouldn’t have been the case though. What I didn’t realize back then that I wish I would have is that all that goes away one day. When you leave those groups and organizations regardless if there sports or academics, you need to have something of yourself left. This was probably one of the most surprising and harshest things I’ve discovered in college. I committed so much of my time throughout my life to these organizations that without them I feel lost. It’s so weird not being required to go somewhere every day after school and every weekend. I’m still constantly worried that I’m missing something because it’s so unusual for me not to be busy doing something.

                I guess the point of that is that I’m lost, and it’s not something to be sad of. It is actually liberating. For the first time in my life I’m not being judged by what I do, but for the kind of person I actually am. In high school it is so easy to say she must be a tomboy because she plays sports, or he is such a nerd because he doesn’t play sports. When in all actuality she plays basketball to stay in shape and hang out with friends, and he just doesn’t think his sports are his thing. Now that I’m in college I’m able to find something that really expresses who I am and who I want to be.

                I think that the reason this is so liberating is the fact that you are able to try so many things and really discover if they are or aren’t for you. You’re not required to do anything, but encouraged. While in college you’re at a point in your life where you are able to actually kinda direct where you want the rest of your life to go. You’re deciding what you want to do with the rest of your life, where you want to do it, and who you want by your side while doing it. My advice to you is don’t jump into anything, but savor everything. Live life to the fullest because you never know what will happen. Allow yourself to be you, and leave that façade at home because that is one of the most exhausting things you can do while at college. Don’t do stuff because you think that you’ll be left behind if you don’t. That is a surefire way to make yourself more unsure than ever before. Just because everybody is getting a tattoo or going out partying, doesn’t mean that you have to become everybody because if you are being everybody that who is being you?